Sunday, October 31, 2004

Blog That Shit!

So here I am, the day after my 21st party, nursing myself back to health after polishing off half a bottle of wine and about 7/8 of a bottle of vodka. I've got the alcohol sweat and the feeling of being drained of energy and I'm soooooooo tired...

I was maggot.

I'm sitting here trying to make sense of the night in which I've lost all recollection of 10pm onwards, so heres a rundown of events (note that they are in no way in chronological order as my mind is pretty damn jumbled).

I had a J written on my forehead, this is as much "be veddy veddy quiet, we're drawing on laurie" that was done that night... I believe that the plan was to tack me to the ground and write on me however it just ended up being a pile on with me on the bottom, and we all know what physical exertion does to a drunk person... yesss we do...

I went out the front for some reason (fuck knows) and found kappa sitting with a couple of her friends. There was Damo who I already know and some guy called Fisby or something, whom I aptly renamed to "Freebie" or "Frisby".

I went upstairs to make myself another drink, attempted to cut some lime and missed and sliced a nice deep gash in my middle finger. There was blood everywhere...

Thats about all I can remember right now, I'll have to chase Nye up for the video so I can attempt to remember some shit..

So yes much piss was sunk and there was much catching up done, as Hughsy & Jacynta made an appearance, as did Erin Buglar.

I would like to thank my darling Alana for taking care of me and not throwing me to the pack of wolves that was the guys with the pen, and also nursing me back to a semi sober state this morning even though she was about as hung over as I was. Love you babe :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Its my birthday its my birthday its my birthday boy or girl

So yea
its my birthday
so far I have received an iPaq from the parentals & some cologne and a travel diary from the lovely alana.

my party is gonna rawk

all the organising is done, just gotta decorate on saturday now

twill be mucho fun and mucho drunk :P

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

A new spin on reading the newspaper on the toilet...

Ok heres a post thats likely to gross half of you out and make the other half shit their pants with laughter

Lauries new spin on readong the newspaper on the toilet...

take 1 iPaq
combine with a linksys wireless router
add in news.com.au

and voila! a 21st century way of reading the paper on the shitter :P

Sunday, October 17, 2004

This post goes out to Chirpy & Figjams

Ok so I started a comment on Chirpy's latest post HERE but it turned out to be a bit long & actually contained some useful info so here it is in blog form-

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Well you guys could move into our place if we had an extra 2 rooms, and if we ever get in there. The latest now is in 4 weeks time... We were told 4 weeks 4 weeks ago...

bah this sux

o well i guess i get to keep saving more $$$ before i go to america

maybe we can kick out the neighbors with our incessant drinking and noisiness and u could rent that and I could run at the wall and make a hole in it shaped like a person and we could use that as a door.

I'm sure that would create a house of much abuse and rock hard livers.

Oh my god meakin that is so funny

Read Meakins latest blog HERE

Fuck man that is the funniest shit cos its so true. You hit the nail on the head there...

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

What has Laurie been up to?

Lets see

drinking, drinking, assignment, drinking, drinking work work work work work, drinking etc


So last friday we all piled over to my place, twas a regular mini party, otherwise referred to as a "gathering". Who was there you ask? WELL! there was -
Me,
Nye,
Shorty,
James,
Alison,
Bec,
Alana's brother David,
Brucey.

And there was much antics. A rundown of the night -

Everyone got to my place by about 7:30 and about an hour was spent waiting for james & alison to arrive (as usual) so I could go down and get some pizza and some alcohol (boy that was a long hour). Anyway they ended up arriving & david myself and brucey piled into the lauriemobile for some much awaited food and alcohol. After receiving the pizzas from the guy with the biggest monobrow in the world (seriously his connector part in the middle was hairier than the rest of his eyebrows) we checked the pizzas for clumps of hair & went on our merry way.

Arriving at chateu de laurie I promptly poured myself a drink and the pizzas sat on the bar for about 10 minutes before i yelled at everyone to eat them. Pizza was consumed, piss was sunk, and pool was played.

We then migrated to Lauries room for some sit downage and played a drinking game. By this time the two Daves were wasted (David & shorty, coincidence? I think not...) and me being the responsible older brother that David never had, took one for the team and whenever he had to scull, I sculled for him (aren't I lovely?). Shorty for the life of him couldn't work out how the hell to play a certain game. This game involved you saying a phrase like "I was fixing the car the other day, and Nye was there to help me" then Nye would go "Nah it wasn't just Laurie and I, it was also Shorty" etc... So then Shorty would go "I was fixing the car and Shorty Nye and Laurie were there". After explaining how to play to him about 5 times we gave up and as a result he got horrendously drunk.

So then Davo retired to the toilet and between looking after him and going downstairs the gathering seemed to go downhill. Bec decided it would be funny to draw on Shorty, so my Artistic flair had an outlet once again (photos will come soon). He was lucky it was whiteboard marker & not permanent. Needless to say he copped a curly moustache.

In the morning we all headed down to maccas for a breakfast of pure fat. After passing the typical Strathpine derros saying "fuckin fuckin cunt" to each other we sat down and planned the day out. The plan was to go to the beach.

James & Alison had gone home the night before so they had to be picked up. Nye had no car and he had to head back to his parents place to drive up with his dad to see his now new car.

So the plan was destined to fail - 3 cars heading up the coast at like 1pm, an hour between each other, meeting on a beach with little to no mobile contact, you do the maths.

But it turned out fine, we all met up, laid on the beach, went up to the parents unit for a bit and then decided to get a feed for dinner.

We decided to go to bulcock beach for some fish & chips. Realising only half of us had cash we went in search of an atm. I thought of an even better idea of going to a Cafe which we passed that Glen recommended, so we went there instead. The food was pretty good altho the manager was annoying cos he kept calling everyone "young man" and "young lady". Fuck. Thats SIR to you buddy.

The whole night nye was going "i cant believe i bought a car"... fuck nye believe it cos WE KNOW!

Sunday was spent shopping with Alana in the city & me nerding it up with my iPaq everywhere trying to steal internet. Alana and I had an argument over lunch about whether the things that hold juice in citrus fruits are called pips or pith. I thought I'd settle it there and then with the iPaq + free internet but alas it was not to be. Sunday night was spent at Alana's house eating chips from a fish & chips shop.


Ok something wierd just happened.
Sharma went to the toilet, washed his hands in the sink in there, hocked his guts up as usual, then went to the kitchen sink and washed his hands there, no golly hocking up thank god. How odd...

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Found an Insecure AP near my place

Its got a SNR (Signal to Noise Ratio) of 100 so like one could say its a pretty damn good signal.

I logged on to the net with it, sent ken a few messages, and DAMN YOU NYE I wouldve called you on skype via this free internet cept it seems you're not online...

bastard

Friday, October 01, 2004

Fuck the Fucking Fuckers

And as used in every sentence.... Fuck the fucking fuckers..............

So I finally got my expenso liquers from the distillery of much coolness and doom. 1 Limoncello and 1 BOSC (Bells of St Clements, a mix of Oranges, Lemons, Limes & Grapefruit).

I had a bit of the limoncello and if anyone knows me, they will all know that I'm quite the afficionado of lemon products.

The limoncello was delicious and sooo easy to drink.

Anyway this was all after Glen, Frank & I had played some games of squash so I think it was well deserved.

So if you have a few $$$ laying about which you normally use to light your cigars, pile them together and buy some delicious alcohol from this guy -

http://www.tamborinemountaindistillery.com/

He also does tastes at his distillery, highly recommended A+++++++++++++++++++++++++.

And oh yea, he also sells absinthe.... (said in a Bernard voice) the drink that makes you want to kill yourself