where is it keep?

hes such a black mexican

2006-12-17T02:57:00.000+10:00

will be the title of figjam's biography

In Shorty's Memory....

2006-11-22T21:43:00.000+10:00

It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?

Ahahahha

2006-07-03T11:25:00.000+10:00

http://www.break.com/index/angrybt.html

Now hear this

2006-06-28T15:22:00.000+10:00

Robbie Buck shall now be known as Robbie Jockstrap

that is all

Sacre Bleu!

2006-06-06T14:53:00.000+10:00

Tea Party

2006-06-05T16:17:00.000+10:00

So tomorrow is the 6/6/06, and apparantly satan is coming to earth.

I would like to extend a personal invitation to him for a tea party at my house.

It shall begin at 6:66am

yes

66 minutes

hey if the world is ending then I can change time!

Jigglies

2006-06-01T22:21:00.000+10:00

Hours of fun right here (not work safe)

http://www.whowantsabalti.com/misc2/boobs2.swf

Nurries

2006-06-01T12:55:00.000+10:00

Nurries

The word that results when a bogan attempts to say "no worries".

ahh the dutch

2006-05-31T09:51:00.000+10:00

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,19315413-401,00.html

DUTCH pedophiles are launching a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for sexual relations from 16 to 12 and the legalisation of child pornography and sex with animals, sparking widespread outrage.

[....]

Toddlers should be given sex education and youths aged 16 and up should be allowed to appear in pornographic films and prostitute themselves. Sex with animals should be allowed although abuse of animals should remain illegal, the NVD said.

The party also said everybody should be allowed to go naked in public and promotes legalising all soft and hard drugs and free train travel for all.

WTF??? SEX SEX SEX CHILD SEX DRUGS CHILD SEX FREE TRAIN TRAVEL FOR ALL!

From Jaana with Love

2006-05-29T21:49:00.000+10:00

Jaana just wrote me this awesome poem
its all about me!

smoker of pole...
Keeper of Peen...
Laurie would look gay..
If he wasnt so Keen.

Drinker of man milk..
He saves all his loot...
To pay for his bum boys..
In Big hard black suits..

Toucher of wang..
He likes his men long...
It would be cool ..
if it wasnt so wrong...

So many smokers...so little time...

smoker of pole...
Keeper of Peen...
Laurie would look gay..
If he wasnt so Keen.

LAWL GODFATHERS!

2006-05-29T19:20:00.000+10:00

This ones for meakin

2006-05-28T22:03:00.000+10:00

http://www.masturbate-a-thon.com/index.htm

Ahh Chris Taylor... the love of my life

2006-05-26T10:20:00.000+10:00

http://www.bjjsux.com/WhatAWayToEndIt.wmv

Quotes

2006-05-24T16:36:00.000+10:00

Check the link to the right, I've created a new blog for us to post all our funny arse quotes that happen rather regularly.

Chripy on friday nite

2006-05-16T16:21:00.000+10:00

I'm going to skull fuck the glimmer in your eye so I can take your first born's virginity

Words go here

2006-05-09T09:42:00.000+10:00

Glen: i was commenting to zac and sam yesterday about how i think theres something wrong with me cause i have a overriding urge to walk up behind blind people at lights and do the *noise that happens when the "you can cross" is activated* u know what i mean..

Glen: they agreed that i should seek some professional help

Bored

2006-05-08T13:31:00.000+10:00

So I'm bored, what else to do but type my name into google image search

I have discovered that theres a lot of hotties that share my name:

From the person who brought you the cheating rumour...

2006-05-08T13:14:00.000+10:00

So as if making up a rumour about me cheating on Alana isnt bad enuff (it never happened), Jonno also apparantly saw me on saturday night and abused me.

Thats all well and good except for the fact that I never saw him on saturday night.

So I dunno, maybe he was talking to my car thinking it was me or something.

From now on Jonno shall be known as Terry!

I love americans

2006-05-04T09:47:00.000+10:00

Ok heres something pretty nerdy but absolutely hilarious. I love how ignorant the god loving republicans can be.

http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04/linux-european-threat-to-our-computers.html

OMG IF I USE LINUX HITLER WILL COME BACK TO LIFE!

El Shartay, Demon Slayer

2006-04-29T20:49:00.000+10:00

Yitsel: beers are chicks?

Dave: yes
Dave: i guzzle women
Dave: let it be known

Yitsel: haha
Yitsel: tell the people!
Yitsel: the wise el shartay guzzles women

Dave: and battles demons in his sleep

Yitsel: ahahhaha
Yitsel: LET IT BE KNOWN!
Yitsel: consider that blogged

Dave: hahahahaha commedy by the zillion!

Heres a picture of a dog in a tutu

2006-04-28T10:31:00.000+10:00

I have my whole life ahead of me

2006-04-24T11:08:00.000+10:00

MAN DO IT: according to mythtv its -18 degrees

Craig: are you dying?
Craig: are there penguins living in your apartment?
Craig: with a polar bear knocking at the door
Craig: then it is a lie!

MAN DO IT: man i wish there was penguins in my apartment
MAN DO IT: thatd be sweet

Craig: i do too
Craig: that would be so cool

MAN DO IT: ill create an army of polar bears

Craig: or....we can train them asa guard dogs

MAN DO IT: and live in an igloo, petting a penguin

Craig: :p
Craig: hahah it'll be like thecat in the bond flicks
Craig: the one the bad guy is always stroking, except it'll be a penguin

MAN DO IT: yea
MAN DO IT: and ill have a big fluffy coat like the witch in narnia

Craig: bahahaha
Craig: and an ice palace

MAN DO IT: for sure

Craig: and an ice sword

MAN DO IT: and an ice cane
MAN DO IT: pimp ice cane

Craig: haha and an ice pimped up cadilac

MAN DO IT: awesome
MAN DO IT: nah i want a sleigh
MAN DO IT: with jingle bells

Craig: bahahah
Craig: all the way baby

MAN DO IT: awesome
MAN DO IT: it has to be pulled by penguins tho

Craig: bahahahha
Craig: its so on

eats

2006-04-24T09:15:00.000+10:00

CLIT BOSS: i have hunger in my belly

MAN DO IT: eat

CLIT BOSS: you're an eat

MAN DO IT: dont eat me
MAN DO IT: i aint no eats

CLIT BOSS: THATS WHAT SHE SAID

The Clayfield Mafia

2006-04-23T19:11:00.000+10:00

Doctor Doctor can you help me?

2006-04-21T11:45:00.000+10:00

I have a bad case of blasphemy

Wolfmother

2006-04-19T15:57:00.000+10:00

So im listening to triple j today and hear a song come on that sounds very similar to wolfmothers "woman".

Then I realised it is wolfmother. Theyve gotten so bad that theyve started copying themselves.

Are you guys sick of sucking the same cock?

2006-04-19T14:43:00.000+10:00

This particular flavour?!

I'm totally riddled with pac man fever

2006-04-19T13:50:00.000+10:00

The Bogan

2006-04-19T12:12:00.000+10:00

Glen: where did the bogans go so wrong
Glen: in 1066 they were cool
Glen: now... it would be a vl commodore with a rhs steel spoiler

Laurie: totally

New Pad

2006-03-27T11:54:00.000+10:00

So I've moved most of my shit to my new place in number 5, and let me tell you its fucking schmick.

All is set now for Godfather Day. Fig and I have decided to have it on the 22nd of April. If anyone objects, please let me know.

Everyone wants to be Laurie's friend

2006-03-24T10:22:00.000+10:00

I sent an email to a guy explaining to him how to install some fire modelling software and I got this reply back -

Its lil luis b’day man so ye its only till 9 or so ……wat u doin if u free u wanna catch up?

For Gerald

2006-03-13T15:24:00.000+10:00

Avatar Size

I dont know what to write here

2006-03-07T22:03:00.000+10:00

Gerald: ever wonder why there is a lot of white rappers but not a lot of black country singers?

Me: haha yea

Gerald: maybe its the hats...

So I'm driving back from the post office

2006-02-24T14:51:00.000+10:00

and this chick who is learning to drive in a driving school car drives around a corner, the wheels lock up and she hits a keep left sign

poor girl but fucking hilarious

i dont think she will be driving for a while

Fucking St.Valentine

2006-02-15T16:40:00.000+10:00

What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially
in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???
Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...
The most simple way is to visit our site, order the
medication and that is all you are to do!

Do not kill the clock!

So I'm starting an airline

2006-02-13T10:09:00.000+10:00

I've got all the venture capital, and just need some employees.

Some HOT employees. (sorry gerald)

My airline will take the format of the lynx jet.

Can you lend a nigga a pencil?

2006-02-06T13:59:00.000+10:00

Dahhaa figgy you've gone too far this time!

Click here to see what im talking aboot

Heres one for the kiddies...

2006-02-03T09:52:00.000+10:00

kapp: why gerrard now

Yitsel: why not
Yitsel: gerald isnt his real name
Yitsel: we may as well call him jizzbox

I'm so glad

2006-01-26T22:15:00.000+10:00

That wolfmother didn't get number one

Hottest 100 Party!!

2006-01-26T09:40:00.000+10:00

Hottest 100 Party 26th of January

The hottest 100 party shall be held in the Car Hole at Laurie's House. Arrive 11am, 26th January.

BYO Drinks & Lunch (I won't be supplying lunch).

My bets for #1 - either Franz Ferdinand, Bernard Fanning, or Wolf Mother (kill me).

Triple J & Hip-Hop

2006-01-23T16:46:00.000+10:00

Gellen and I listened to Triple J today and tallied how many hip hop to non hip hop songs there were.

Note that we did not hear all the songs played today.

Hip Hop: 16 Songs

Non Hip Hop: 31

so thats like at least 1/3 of all songs being hip hop.

So from this i guess we can infer that at least 33 songs in the hottest 100 will not be worth listening to.

I'm selling my iPaq

2006-01-23T12:04:00.000+10:00

BID ON IT!

Dahahah Bernard Fanning

2006-01-23T10:14:00.000+10:00

Bernard Fanning declared that he can't please women.

my guess is sexually.

Its pretty much the best drawing I've ever done

2006-01-20T10:00:00.000+10:00

Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?

2006-01-18T17:01:00.000+10:00

Do they have what?

I wish my life was more like a sitcom

2006-01-16T16:39:00.000+10:00

IM GETTING NEW GLASSES

2006-01-10T16:05:00.000+10:00

WOW GREAT I THOUGHT ID LET YOU ALL KNOW IM GETTING NEW GLASSES

I KNOW HOW MUCH EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET WANTS TO KNOW IT!

Hear the Word of Shorty

2006-01-05T23:22:00.000+10:00

Dave: laurieaurieaurieaurieaurie

*** Auto-response sent to Dave: I am currently away from the computer.

Dave: !!
Dave: fuck u
Dave: and your "i'm currently away from the compter"
Dave: and i'm not finished yet - just when u thought it was all sunshine and pogo sticks
Dave: declare a jihad on my aircon as well cos the fucktart thinks its 26 degrees when its 18 - i'm in the NT, in summar, and i'm freezing my bagesus offf

we miss you Shorty!

Hottest 100 Party - Australia Day 2006

2006-01-05T14:42:00.000+10:00

Laurie and Gerald will be hosting a Hottest 100 Party for everyone on the 26th of January.

Activities involved will be the consumption of alcoholic beverages and the countdown of the Hottest 100. Alas there will be no ute pools due to water restrictions :(

If you want to vote in the Hottest 100, Click here.

MORE INFO TO COME.

and another

2006-01-03T22:43:00.000+10:00

We need taco bell
taco bell is fantastic
they sell you tacos

A haiku in memory of shorty

2006-01-03T22:41:00.000+10:00

laurie is so bored
he needs something to do k?
what can laurie do?

This photo pretty much sums up our new years party

2006-01-01T18:21:00.000+10:00

I dont know about Jesus...

2005-12-22T22:15:00.000+10:00

But Laurie can microwave a burrito so hot that even he himself cannot eat it.

By The Way

2005-12-13T16:24:00.000+10:00

That last post was a joke (I'm not really a parrot)

THIS IS WHO I AM

2005-12-13T15:54:00.000+10:00

DONT EVER TRY TO CHANGE ME

Fuck You Assholes (except Gerald)

2005-12-09T10:32:00.000+10:00

because hes the only one who comments nowdays

2005-12-08T15:06:00.000+10:00

Why is this post pink?

I'm taking creative licence

2005-12-07T21:58:00.000+10:00

Yitsel: why the fuck cant it be the weekend

Cameron: because its wednesday

Yitsel: fuck you wednesday
Yitsel: i hate you
Yitsel: youre all fucking high and mighty
Yitsel: coming around mid week
Yitsel: but guess what
Yitsel: YOURE ADOPTED

Dear Internet

2005-12-07T09:26:00.000+10:00

I am not planning on buying anyone xmas presents, and in return I don't expect to get a present from anyone.

I hate christmas shopping, therefore I am only buying for my parents, niece and aunty.

Taking bets

2005-12-05T20:08:00.000+10:00

Taking bets on whether or not I'll be arrested for that photo I posted below under the new terror laws.

I love you shorty

2005-12-05T19:22:00.000+10:00

Dave: laurie laurie laurie your one sixteenth like dolly and 7.5/8ths macfoley

Thats it

2005-12-05T15:26:00.000+10:00

The aircon hasnt accepted my truce, its time for all out Jihad.

Dear Air Conditioner

2005-12-05T14:23:00.000+10:00

Dear Air Conditioner,

I realise how hot it is outside but can you please stop dripping on me? I would love to be able to sit under you in relative peace, and continue to decipher the badly written english in these fire engineering reports.

Maybe we can strike a truce?

I promise to stop turning you down so goddamn low and in return can you please stop the dripping.

Yours below,

Laurie.

Ahh Bray Park...

2005-12-05T14:17:00.000+10:00

"is it the air conditioner above you laurie whats playing up?"

Its True

2005-12-02T17:51:00.000+10:00

Craig: we need an adventure

Yitsel: word to that
Yitsel: i need some food
Yitsel: and an adventure
Yitsel: or a food adventure
Yitsel: whatever tickles my fancy

Craig: me too
i'm ready to kill and eat one fo the people i work with

WIN

2005-12-01T18:29:00.000+10:00

the Idiot Savant
(42% dark, 53% spontaneous, 42% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on
the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you
are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most
likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your
sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that
there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your
sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically
enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest:
The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 28% on darkness
You scored higher than 73% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 58% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Is it that hard to learn the english language?

2005-12-01T15:17:00.000+10:00

So I walked into work this morning and asked Mel something, and instead of replying with "possibly" she said "possibility".

And then she just updated Nabils resume for me, and instead of saying "its been updated" she said "its been upgraded".

GOOD LORD

Oh and instead of saying "that" she says "what".

Eg "Laurie remember that report what I emailed you?".

In the spirit of things

2005-11-23T14:41:00.000+10:00

Thats our Figjam!

2005-11-21T13:40:00.000+10:00

Yitsel: i have a good mind to stop work and come help you consume your gin

Figjam: get on over here then

Yitsel: i wish
Yitsel: i have to supervise glen :P

Figjam: tell him to get over ghere OH WAIT ROZ WONT LET HIM
Figjam: UNDER THE THUMB
Figjam: DAHAHAHA
Figjam: AND NOW IM SITTING NEXT TO MILLER
Figjam: fuck
Figjam: fuck
Figjam: fuck

Hes Figjam! Figjam!
Nigger, nigger, jew!

My Latest Work...

2005-11-20T23:46:00.000+10:00

HA DID YOU PICK THE PUN?

Little Room

2005-11-16T16:09:00.000+10:00

When you're in your little room
and you're working on something good
but if its really good
youre gonna need a bigger room
and when youre in the bigger room
you might not know what to do
you might have to think of how you got started sitting in your little room

ahh white stripes

riddles wrapped in mysteries

This word just popped into my head

2005-11-16T10:31:00.000+10:00

Splendiferous

Wow the 2006 big day out looks great!

2005-11-16T10:24:00.000+10:00

They should rename it to

Big Gay Out
Big Day Rap
Big Hip Hop Out
Big Gay Rap
Rap Day Out
Hip Day Hop Out
Rap Day Hop
Beatbox Big Rap Hip hop out house

Big Wolfmother-copy-every-other-band-in-existence Day Out

And im spent

I pick things up

2005-11-14T15:19:00.000+10:00

I am a collector

Erin's Quote of Last Night

2005-10-27T10:33:00.000+10:00

"You're spurting it all over my face, at least get it in my mouth!"

My BIRTHDAY

2005-10-24T13:37:00.000+10:00

MY 22ND BIRTHDAY IS ON WEDNESDAY

I COMMAND EVERYONE TO COME TO MY HOUSE FOR A SEXY PARTY ON THE 29TH OF OCTOBER

BRING BOOZE

ARRIVE AT 7PM

DRINK TIL DAWN

LAURIE OUT

Hello, would you like to breed?

2005-10-19T13:55:00.000+10:00

[Talking to Shorty bout going to the movies in the city tonight]

Dave: what time - i can meet up for a bried greet

Yitsel: bried greet?

Dave: hahahaha
Dave: a "breed greet"
Dave: hello...would you like to breed

Yitsel: haha
Yitsel: with me or with erin

Dave: first one, then the other

Yitsel: ahahahhaah
Yitsel: did u actually mean breed greet?

Dave: no i men't bried
Dave: hahaha
Dave: brief

Sweet Jesus

2005-10-19T13:38:00.000+10:00

Dave: hahaha - my speakers convert electrical energy to audible to kinetic.....they're racing each other around the table!

Dahaha these quiz makers need to learn to spell

2005-10-16T12:27:00.000+10:00

What Family Guy Character are you?

Peter

You are the man of the house.Your an alcoholic,fat and a reguler subscriber to 'Penthouse' magazine.(don't know if thats good or bad!?)

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

2005-10-16T12:17:00.000+10:00

Which of my gym buddies are you?

"Pinto"

Look, its me! You must be a compleatly awsome person.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

1 2 3

2005-10-04T22:28:00.000+10:00

One Erin ha ha ha!

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO erins ha ha ha!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE erins ha ha ha!

Hot Hot Heat

2005-10-04T19:41:00.000+10:00

Cameron: its not even hot

Yitsel: its hot in my room
Yitsel: cos my room is hot

What kind of shoe am I?

2005-10-01T17:54:00.000+10:00

You are Barefoot!

You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl

You can't be restricted by shoes for very long

And unsuprisingly, the same goes for men

Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are

What Shoe Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Giggidy Giggidy!

Mexican Night

2005-09-22T12:18:00.000+10:00

YARR HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

2005-09-19T11:18:00.000+10:00

I am the King of the Mountain Jews

2005-09-16T14:10:00.000+10:00

Check out my Jesus Beard

OH MY GOD

2005-09-13T22:45:00.000+10:00

A New Topic

2005-09-13T11:42:00.000+10:00

What about vampires

they drink blood right?

well can they get aids?

Was Jesus a Pharoah?

2005-09-12T08:11:00.000+10:00

Key in your answer now

I can't take the credit for this one

2005-09-07T23:23:00.000+10:00

because its not mine

hey guess what?

2005-09-07T22:39:00.000+10:00

i like stuff

Flash your ass at me

2005-09-07T16:17:00.000+10:00

E1: i'll show your ass flash

Yitsel: ur gonan flash ur ass at me?

E1: ASK GLEN
E1: oops
E1: ask glen
E1: he understands

Yitsel: to flash his arse at me?

E1: its like taking candy and sticking it to your ass

Yitsel: cool

E1: YOU'D LOVE IT
E1: TRY IT SOME TIME

i did not have sexual relations with gerald

2005-09-06T17:53:00.000+10:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

And Another...

2005-09-05T13:57:00.000+10:00

In the spirit of Figjam

2005-09-05T13:53:00.000+10:00

Oh fuck what do I do now?

2005-09-03T02:30:00.000+10:00

Somethingawful.com is down thanks to the fuckup in New Orleans

read more here

Thats our Figjam...

2005-09-03T01:58:00.000+10:00

Apparantly Figgy just commented on my blog as me (via my computer) with a rather informative message, here it is:

I suck big fat nigger cocks and I suck balls like all hell I worship big fat nigger cocks and I drink their cum by the pint my god I love big fat nigger cocks.

Its True

2005-09-01T10:09:00.000+10:00

Yitsel: i get to write up a disaster recovery plan tomorrow

Glen: for new orleans?

Yitsel: yep

Glen: why

Yitsel: so that they dont get 5 metres of water again

Glen: did they contact you directly?

Yitsel: yea

Glen: i c

Yitsel: the guy played a trumpet to me

Glen: ahhh of course

I Present To You............... Lady Meakin

2005-08-25T22:52:00.000+10:00

2005-08-25T18:52:00.000+10:00